Its Just You…

A large swath of society loves to talk. We love to be noticed. We love the likes, we need the attention, we crave the interaction. Everyone enjoys the talk, enjoys the chest beating, enjoys the argument. Everything must be documented. Plates of food require a picture, vacations get a snapshot, luxury brands get a post. Makeup on point? Take a Selfie. At the club? Take a Selfie. Sitting in the car not doing shxt? It’s selfie time.


Time for a Confession: For the most part social media makes my skin crawl. The “look at me” attitude. The trolling. The arguing with people who mean nothing to you. The Fake outrage. The Social activism. Its disgusting. Its sad. Its revolting. Its something I don’t want to participate in any more than I have to.  Don’t get me wrong, it has its place in my life and I use it in the way that suits me best. I actually prefer Facebook because I get to view the goings on of people I actually give a fu*k about and rarely have to see or hear from people I don’t. If you check my personal Twitter and IG accounts you probably aren’t going to see much. I post once a month, if that. Why don’t I post much? Am I a hater? Am I old fashioned? Am I shy? I’ve probably been all of those at some point in my life. The real reason is I don’t really see a point. It doesn’t move me, it doesn’t motivate me, it doesn’t help me, I don’t find it fun.

You might be asking “Well what about Black.Married.Fly.? You guys seem to post all the time on there.” I love Black Married Fly and its apparent that some other people out there do to. Me and Candace want to build something positive. So we are working to do so. Social Media is a tool at our disposal and we are using it. I don’t get sad with less likes. It doesn’t bother me when there aren’t any comments. To be honest I’m typically humbled by the feedback. If social media disappeared tomorrow Black.Married.Fly is no worse for wear. The train doesn’t stop, Candace and I don’t go into withdrawal, and we won’t be mad at God for it.

The only reason I post on social media these days is to hopefully help someone else. It may seem narcissistic and come off as an inflated ego but that’s why I do it. So that hopefully someone reads it or sees it and it provokes a positive thought. It’s not “look at me” its more a presentation of a different point of view. I posted a snapshot of some of my exercise stats. It wasn’t to say “look what I did” it was more to those people who know I was a lazy bum that ate like crap and is now trying to do better. I was in the gym the other day and a chick literally got on the bike, worked up a light sweat in about 5 minutes, spent 3 minutes (not pedaling) to get the perfect selfie, then got up and left. Social Media is powerful but guess what? Likes don’t help you get healthier. Subscribers don’t change your sense of self-worth. Comments to remove the roadblocks in your life. When I get closer to my goal, when I get that new promotion, when I lose those additional pounds, when I achieve a new personal best…you won’t find me on social media. Social media doesn’t have shxt to do with my success. Social media isn’t going to root me on toward my goal, it isn’t going to advise me on how to overcome my failures. I don’t look to social media as anything other than information about other people. It can’t define me, my self-worth, or my value. I think humanity would be better off more people used the positive they saw on social media as motivation and less people used social media for validation.


 The best work is done in the dark. In the quiet of your own mind, away from the desires and agendas of others. The man to fear at your job, the one that is going to get the promotion over you, is the one that needs no external motivation. The person who is always the hungriest in the pursuit of their goals is the one that doesn’t get distracted.

The one who is going to overcome the barriers of their circumstance is the one who gets it done in the dark. Social media for him is a distraction because he knows his personal goals don’t rest in the approval of others but in his own pursuit of excellence.

- Rob Immortal


Rob Immortal prides himself on being the 6'4" Black, loc'd, and Bearded version of one Daria Morgendoffer. The last male heir of a family of Misanthropic Bamas, he enjoys Oreos, exotic dancers, fine leather goods, and anything related to black empowerment. Entering the first stage of his evolution into a millennial curmudgeon, he writes on observations as a black married man.

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