Embrace Who you Are

I was sick all week, which is why there wasn't a BMF youtube clip or blog post last week. To be honest that isn't the real reason. The real reason is I had a reduced capacity to get as many items done (because I was sick) and I chose to prioritize more pressing matters.

That being said let's get into it...

My wife said I'm reluctant leader the other day. Shes told me this a bunch of times but for some reason its stuck in my head now. She told me that I am willing to let a process fail before taking the reigns and fixing it. My thought was it was being humble to letting someone else take control and lead the team toward the goal. I believe that others have the capacity to lead and I prefer to allow them to in most situations. When one person is always leading it weakens the team over time (I thought). People increase their dependence on you and decrease dependence on themselves. I usually stay away from the steering wheel unless I see the car headed for a cliff. At that point I have probably stopped caring about the feelings of other people and do everything required to get the car back on track. In the times I fail to do that, I'll bail leaving the car and the occupants that chose to stay on the car to speed toward the destruction they chose in the first place.

Why wait? 


In thinking about what she said, I think my wife's point was to be solution oriented. If you know you are the best equipped to lead in a critical situation, then lead it. It doesn't necessarily matter what anyone outside the team believes. If the goal is to complete a set of tasks the most efficient way is often the best way. The best way is usually when each role is occupied by the person best suited for it. Practice is the best time to develop skills, game time is the best time to test them. Elevating someone who has not been game tested and has not begun to develop the skills in practice required for a specific role should not take that role in the team. The point is this: while I was attempting to be humble and allowing the unqualified to lead, I was actually playing outside of my position and assisting the failure of the project. 


My problems with leadership are manipulation and the spotlight. Call it what you want but good leaders manipulate those they lead to create positive results and achieve the goal. Might be positive, might be negative but it is required. I need to work on that. Positive manipulation is a good part of life. You manipulate your body to get stronger, you manipulate your children to make them better, this is selfless manipulation for the greater good of everyone involved. My hard headed opinion has always been "they should want it, I shouldn't need to fool them into doing it." Yes, but what if you have a mediocre QB that is better served as a Tight End? You are doing yourself, your team, and most importantly that player a disservice by keeping them at QB. But sometimes when trust isn't fully established you have to figure out how to make things work for people and the team. 

Sounds like a lot of work right?

So maybe that’s my biggest problem. If I assess a group and the goal, I may say “Fuxk it, i’ll ride but i’m not steering this train.” Might be because of a manager, might be because the team is filled with toxic malcontents, might be because the goal is unattainable or unproductive. Either way its the wrong attitude. The QB can’t survey the defensive end today guys, you’re on your own.” Another football example is the person with the QB skills is trying to be humble and letting the WR run the pass plays. Tha't’s not a winning formula.

I say all that to say this: When you know who you and what your expertise is you are doing yourself and those around you a disservice when you choose not to play your position. That’s not to say that you don’t grow and you don’t reach and you don’t get better. But if God made you a corner back and you’re choosing to play nose guard, you’re doing your team a disservice.. If you’re job is quarterback and you’re choosing to play punter, you’re not helping your team or yourself the way you could be.

Love and Appreciate your role, the team doesn’t run the same without it.

- Rob Immortal

Robert MillerComment