Pipin' Hot Gender Roles!
Me and my Wife are Gender Roles people. We believe because I am the man in the relationship I have X,Y,Z roles and because she is the woman in the relationship she has A,B,C gender roles.
Alot of people believe this is repressive. Coming to that immediate reaction makes sense. When most people hear gender roles, they think chauvinism and sexism. They think of a woman making babies, cooking, and cleaning, and a man coming home from work and being lazy.
My wife definitely aint the type to just get along with that shxt
My primary gender roles are these:
1. To Protect for her - If she feels unsafe in our living environment. I need to change the environment or remove her from it. If she doesn't feel secure in my decisions, I need to make better decisions or better communicate my reasons for my decisions. If she does not trust me, she needs to tell me why, and I need to alter my actions to reaffirm her trust.
2. To Provide for her - In our house hold she covers one bill, life insurance (which if you don't have some beyond what you have at work you better get some). I cover literally everything else, from the house to the car insurance and everything in between. She covers her own bills (car note, credit cards, student loans) but that’s because she makes them by herself so she should be able pay them by herself. Provide doesn't stop at money it also covers intimacy, mental, physical, and emotional needs. I provide as much as one person can for another..
3. Dream Enabler - Candace has dreams and aspirations. My role is to help her in any way I can to achieve those dreams. Whether that’s sweat, finances, planning, or cheerleader she knows that when its time to go to war against her dream killers that she's riding in an M1 Heavy Tank nicknamed "Husband".
What are her gender roles you ask?
1. A Safe Place to Vent - I need very little from my wife. I feel obligated to only ask for a little from my wife because of the way I've been blessed (that view may be flawed but its my view dammit). I need her to listen when I need someone to talk to about something. Unlike women, most men walk alone concerning the deep issues that we have in our lives. 9 times out of 10 if something is really wrong with a guy he usually has to pay someone if he needs a safe place to vent (I'm talk about a therapist people). My wife is someone I can vent to just enough until I get to a therapist.
2. A Lending her Council - Men want to achieve great things. Few have the ability to step back and look for the holes in a plan the way a real woman can. A man and a woman have a different walk in life and thus usually see things differently. My wife has to be willing to lend her vision to my goals on occasion to help me achieve them. From personal experience I can attest that listening to my wife’s thoughts on my plans has lead to exceeding the goal in many cases. I've often used her diverse viewpoints as a secret "competitive advantage".
3. Keep it Real - I'm a guy who like he's Ego stroked as much as any man does. It makes me feel good and can be a motivator. At the same time I don't want to be the emperor walking around butt ass nekkid because she was to busy stroking my ego that I’m looking crazy. I need that real talk. She will sit me down and say "You're fucking up" and more importantly say "here's why". She is definitely the CEO of Reality Check Inc in our house. That means when I’m getting praised, its genuine. When I'm being chastised, its genuine. It all comes from love and never comes from the desire to manipulate.
To Keep it 1000 I don't always like our Gender Roles. They can be tough for a man raised almost entirely by his mother to swallow. I came up seeing my Mother be Wonder Woman, kicking ass and taking names when it came to every part of life. I hold most women in my life to that same standard. Equality cuts both ways and sometimes in my mind that means 50/50 across the board. God doesn't give out gifts equally though and every position, while required, has a different level of importance. As a Man my job is critical, if I'm moving wrong it throws everything else in the household out of wack. Much of our community is so used to getting by with things being in the wrong order that we accept it as normal. Its not. A child is not supposed to grow up seeing their Dad on weekends. The child is not supposed to hear their mother speak poorly of their father. The Mother is not supposed to be on her own taking care of a child two people created by herself. The Man is not supposed to be lesser in the household just because the wife earns more than him.
You probably believe in Gender Roles and Don't know it.
The people I hear decrying gender roles are mostly women. Being honest if someone said "Your job in life is support your man, have his babies, and clean up" I'd probably be pissed too. Women through out most of history get the short end of the stick because statistically they don't hit as hard or lift as much. Stats also show women have a higher pain tolerance and mature faster than men. Does that make one group better than the other. Nah. Men have used "gender roles" to repress women. People have also used the Bible to enslave people, and used saltpeter (something originally used for fireworks) to create the first gun powder and kill people. People use good things for stupid shxt. To those women who don't believe in gender roles...If you guys are asleep at night and something goes bump in the night, do you expect your man to check it out? If a strange man is talking to you crazy in public, do you expect your man step in? If you bought something heavy and brought it home, do you expect your man to help?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might co-sign gender roles.
And there is nothing wrong with that,
- Rob Immortal
Rob Immortal prides himself on being the 6'4" Black, loc'd, and Bearded version of one Daria Morgendoffer. The last male heir of a family of Misanthropic Bamas, he enjoys Oreos, exotic dancers, fine leather goods, and anything related to black empowerment. Entering the first stage of his evolution into a millennial curmudgeon he writes on observations as a black married man.