Two Ls don't Make a W
Please excuse the somber tone, i’m in a reflective mood.
1. There is the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do.
2. There is a right way to do something and a wrong way to do it.
3. There is the right thing to do and the wrong time to do it.
4. The wrong thing to do never seems to have a right time, though.
I am really good at picking the right thing to do. I am shxt at picking the right time.
I was reflecting on what caused my marriage to hit a rough patch so early. About 4 years ago when we first got married (we still young in the game), I wanted to start a business and was looking at different opportunities. The one I chose to get involved in was BYNKRadio.net (go check them out!). I didn't consult my wife, I just told her what I was doing, and got to work doing it. Things started to grow and before I knew it I was interviewing artists from Epic, Def Jam, MMG, and others. I was soooo excited about the work we were doing and the potential possibilities I didn't think about the timing of the endeavour. Timing is so important. It's taken for granted because time isn't thought about until you run out of it. It can be the difference between whether you get the promotion or not, whether you meet your wife or husband, and even life and death. In the moment of helping to start the radio station I didn't think about timing. I was in "Me" mode, Mr. Ambitious, blinders on focused on making it a successful business.
If you haven't mastered the basics why are you trying to add new tricks?
What I thought was "Me and my wife love each other, we've know each other a long time. This MINOR disruption won't be an issue." Seems innocent enough right? Sure it was. But intention doesn't matter as much as impact. The impact was a disrupted marriage that was too young to weather a massive shift in focus. My wife expected we'd be working on starting a family, traveling, and working on building our union. I was hungry for the next level of life. I thought I could be Mr. Husband (and hopefully father), Mr. Business Man, and still carry a 9 to 5 career. I didn't know how to be a husband or an entrepreneur (still learning on both). I thought I could launch a business in a young marriage without knowing what I was doing with either and thats just a recipe for problems.
Underestimation, Miscommunication and poor Perception will fuk up anything.
I used to think my wife couldn't handle me pursuing entrepreneurship. Today she is my business partner. The reality is when you don't communicate with someone properly and nothing is made know to them they are going to get irritated. We were both being stubborn. I was determined not to have a failed business, she was determined not to get a divorce. I'm glad that she was stubborn in an "We" way when I was stubborn in a "Me" way. Eventually (as in 5 months ago, don't judge me) I decided to walk away from the first business I helped found. Not going to lie, at first I saw myself as a failure. That I was throwing in the towel and fleeing from the work. I can't say I feel like that anymore. That business is doing well and continuing to grow since i've left. The way my marriage has improved and my stress level has decreased tells me that leaving was WELL worth it.
Sometimes winning in life means losing a goal.