This is me attempting to get my writing shit together….. Don’t judge me too harshly.
Something that I have been pondering and struggling with for years is the idea of making friends as an older adult. Since moving away from the San Francisco Bay Area (Yiy!) I have half ass maintained my original friendships (SORRY I’M A SHITTY FRIEND!) and made a few new ones (ALSO SORRY I’M A SHITTY FRIEND) but with all the stress, responsibility, school and coping with infertility I really just feel alone.
Hear me out, when you are nearly 34 it is hard to make new friends anyway. People aren’t as open and trusting the way we were in adolescence and our college going years. So while y'all existing friends are out in the world raising your kids and being with your family. I am out in the wilderness lacking companionship outside of my husband.
For all of you who think all you need is your boo, you are wrong. For all of you who live for your kids, what will you do when they want their independence? For all of you brother’s/sister’s keepers out there I pray you never are without them. When you strip them away and they best you can get is a text every now and then, weekly facetime, or a short phone call you will soon come to value all those times you and your bestie fought over nothing. Those times when your brother was being mad annoying and so forth.
How and where do you go to make new girlfriends that have flexibility like you do. I don’t have kids so I never have to worry about a sitter. Realize it has been shoved down our throats since girlhood, being without that limiter is lonely. I am married but my husband has always been married to himself first nor is he the type of guy that feels the need to control me by needing to know where I am all the time. Now when you don’t have much in common with people your age due to lifestyle, one cannot help but falling in with younger people. I have met some amazing people but there is always that disconnect knowing that they don’t remember watching Disney’s Aladdin in a movie theater, or wanting Milton Bradley MouseTrap so bad while watching Saturday morning cartoons.
Part of me feels left behind by my 80’s babies sisters who are out living the dream. I also feel like I dont belong with those who are in their twenties because I know more due to experience and watching some of their decisions is hard. Not because they are making bad choices but because some of the life lessons I already have been taught they are learning them for the first time and I would be wrong to rob them of living life.
I just want some grown ass bitches to kick it with that are about their shit and not always stuck tending to their responsibilities. I mean damn, can a bitch do both brunch and happy hour in the same week? Can I have #squadgoals? Ugh! It sux being an adult.